Continuing on my post about courtship, this time, we will talk about an illustration on the mindset we need when we are entering courtship. But before I reveal that illustration, let us have some clearance on some concepts involved.
When does courtship happen? What are the indications that a couple made an “upgrade” on their relationship?
On Joshua Harris’ book Boy Meets Girl, he said that in this stage, both are more than friends yet less than lovers. In other words, they’re in the verge of having a romantic relationship, yet, they are not. In this stage, purity and wisdom should come together.
Sadly, many couples tend to skip this stage. Social media, technology and social norm shifts break the part that can be used for discerning if they are really meant for each other. They experience an emotional outburst, which in turn, could blind them.
Then what is the use of wisdom on having a healthy courtship that may lead on a good romantic relationship? Imagine a dog with a leash placed on it. The dog represents romantic love, while the leash represents wisdom. On some point, the dog may think that the string is a big bother. It will plan to escape, so that it can freely roam without the presence of the master.
But this cannot happen. If the dog breaks out, it will be hard for the master to protect the dog. If the leash snapped, the dog’s safety is history.
Romance without wisdom can be dangerous. Imagine going to war without guns, going to tennis match without a tennis racquet or going to drive without a license. Without wisdom, a healthy relationship is uncertain.
Long-term relationships cannot stand on emotions alone. It needs wisdom. It needs practical, common sense wisdom.
“But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.”James 3:17 (NIV)